With same-sex marriage only becoming legal in the summer of 2015, there wasn't a lot of precedent for how our proposal was supposed to work.

​

Of course, there were plenty of role models for how same sex couples build a life together.  We know many guys who have been in committed, monogamous relationships for decades. Indeed, even the early church showed us Saints Sergius and Bacchus - Roman soldiers from the 400s who were openly partnered, but secretly Christian, and who ultimately were martyred when their secret religious life choice came to light.

​

But when it came to deciding exactly how the proposal should work, we were thrilled to know that we could pretty much make up the tradition any way we'd like.

​

We knew we wanted to have rings to be engaged, but also knew that we didn't want to wear them until our wedding day.  We knew the occasion needed to be marked as a special day in some way, recognizing its importance in our lives. Mike had painted an icon of Sergius and Bacchus earlier in the year, and we knew we wanted those guys to be part of it too. 

 

So we found a date late in October when we could both get away for a special vacation in a nearby lakeside town.  We searched antique shops and art galleries for a special box we could keep our rings in, and - after cooking a great meal together in our beautiful rented Victorian home - poured some glasses of wine, shared our feelings with one another, and sealed up the rings in the special box, with a promise to open them together on August 10th next year.

​

The box now sits under the careful watch of Sergius and Bacchus in a central part of our Chicago home, as a daily reminder of the promise we've already made to one another, and the life we can't wait to continue to build together.